So I officially LOVE the Office!

I don't have much time for tv what with school and all, but I always seem to make time for The Office. It's one of those shows that I've always wanted to watch because it's just my type of show, but never got the chance to. But now, with reruns on TBS and FOX, I've had more opportunities and I've found that it's just the most freaking hilarious show ever! It has really lifted my spirits over the past few weeks.

So I'm starting to feel a little better about everything. I'm not trying to jinx myself or anything. Heaven only knows whenever I start getting comfortable again, something awful happens. But my mood has improved. I'm praying that it stays that way for a while. Life isn't fair, and I've always known that, but it just feels horrible when you feel like the whole world is against you and nothing goes in your favor. I'm still sad of course, but I'm in the process of moving on with my life. Next Saturday is my grandpa's memorial service. We got it so that my sister will be home in time to go. My sister was really close to him. The news hit her harder than it hit me.

Today was a really weird day. I was scheduled to have 2 critiques at school today. I was sort of nervous about them, my watercolor critique in particular because 1) it was our first actual critique in the class, and 2) my piece kind of sucks and the instructor is a real stickler. He actually PAINTED on my piece yesterday! If there's one thing I can't stand about certain art instructors, it's when they paint or draw on your piece. It sort of makes it feel like it's not completely my work anymore. I know it's kind of silly and stupid to think like that because it's not like this was going to hang in a gallery. It's a still life of cow skull and a creepy stuffed monkey (set up by the instructor, NOT ME!) and it isn't and never was meant to be my best piece....but anyway, WOW I just noticed I'm going off on a tangent....

anyway, getting to the main point. Today, I was in my Life Drawing for Illustrators class (first class of the day) and we were having our critiques on our self-portrait projects (we had to draw ourselves as some recognizable character--I did me as the queen of hearts). It wasn't even 9:30 AM and we hadn't even finished talking about the third piece when Duncan (who is either an advisor or the dean, I can't remember his title) comes into the classroom and tells us that the school has no running water due to some electrical (or something) problem and that the school has to shut down for the rest of the day. WHAT? So everyone had to leave. It was so weird. If I had been at school near my house, I probably would have been happier, but considering I have a long commute, it was more of a pain in the neck. But on the bright side, I postponed both critiques for Monday. So I had to make numerous phonecalls to both parents telling them what happened and I was on the 10:30 AM train back to Crystal Lake. Supposedly school will be open on Monday, I'll make sure I check my email before that just in case.

At the moment, I would choose Ocean Eyes by Owl City. It's one of the few albums I can honestly listen to all the way through without skipping any songs. The lyrics are so beautiful and the melodies are catchy.

  

Well, my grandpa passed away on Thursday.

I found out right after getting home from school with a phone call from the nursing home where he had been living.

It really hit hard this time because 1) it was a bit sudden. I know that he's been really sick for a while now, but I thought he was headed in a good direction. and 2) I'm still mourning my friend who was killed in a car accident a few weeks ago. I was starting to accept it, but this just stirred it all up again. 

It's been really hard. It's like the 2nd double-whammy of death for me this year. Back in April, my great-grandma died, then 2 weeks later, I found out that my grandma also passed away. Now My friend dies, then my grandpa 2 weeks later.

I don't think I can cry anymore. Thursday night, after I found out, I basically spilled the beans to my mom about my friend and she was shocked. I have never cried so much in my life. This has just been an absolutely miserable year, and I know things can always get worse, but I'm pretty low right now.

Paulie Bleeker from Juno because he is adorable...need I say more?! Oh heck, anyone played by Michael Cera is adorable. I love that boy!














finally not an upsetting post!!!

It feels like all I type about in here is sad, horrible stuff. I hate to say it, but there's more...

I found out Tuesday night that one of my good friends from school passed away. She was in a car accident. It was the first time I found out about a death via Facebook. I was in such a state of shock that I couldn't stop shaking. It's just hard. She wasn't a friend I knew for a long time, but I just met her last year. We had intermediate life drawing together and I thought we were a lot alike. I actually learned a lot just sitting next to her in class, looking over at her drawing board. I feel like she left a little piece of herself in my artwork. This summer, she decided to not attend the Academy and to pursue a career in child psychology at NIU. The last day of school last semester was the last time I ever saw her. I'm upset that I didn't get to know her more and I'm still in shock that she's gone. She was so funny and we would hang out in the painting room sometimes when we both had breaks and just talk about random stuff. I missed her before when she decided to transfer to another school, and I miss her even more now that I know that I will never see her again. She was a great friend and I will never forget her.

My grandpa is still not doing well, but he is still hanging in there. He is moved into a nursing home now - the same nursing home that my grandma was in during her last days back in May. My sister, who is at college and hasn't seen my grandpa in months, called him up at the nursing home the other day because she was worried and wanted to talk to him. When he answered, he was so out of it he just mumbled a few things into the phone, said goodbye and hung up. My sister then skyped my parents and was crying because he had made her so worried and upset. 

I am hoping for things to start looking up. I hate being like this, all depressed and sad. I'm not that type of person. I'm hoping for the holidays to come and go and be as wonderful as they've ever been. I want to see my sister because I miss her so much! I want to just have a week, at least where I can stop worrying and crying, and hiding in my room with the lights turned off and just LIVE! I want to be happy and I want to be free of this dark cloud that has been following me around for weeks. 

...yes it goes on an on, my friends...

- My grandpa is still alive, but he's not in great health. He's still at the hospital. He has been kicked out of his apartment at the assisted living place because he can't go back there anyway. He can't walk and apparently he wants to get a pace maker now for his heart. I honestly, don't think he can handle another surgery. But everyone says that putting in a pace-maker is just minor surgery. I have my doubts, but I have the right to be pessimistic. I mean, simple knee surgery is how this whole ordeal got started. Oh, and did I mention that we're the one's paying for his pace maker. He has no money, so somehow it got dumped on us.

- We're getting new windows on Wednesday. That's costing us thousands of dollars as well.

-And just this evening when I was going to make my microwavable dinner because I get home so damn late because my class doesn't get out til 5:15, the Microwave decided to just die. So now, we have to buy a new microwave.

I'm so freaking angry about so many things right now. It probably makes no sense to anyone else why, but seriously FML!!!

Now my grandpa is in the hospital.

He's basically at death's door.

He had a knee surgery last month. Since he was on a lot of medication for the pain, including blood-thinners for some reason, he had some horrible reaction to it all, and collapsed one day while my aunt was visiting him at his apartment at the assisted living place. He was rushed to the hospital and has been there ever since. And he now has problems with his heart (apparently his heart is only working at 10%...and he already has a bad heart from 2 heart attacks during his lifetime, as well as a pig valve that was put in during a heart surgery he had years ago) plus, I just found out today that he has MRSA which my mom says is some sort of flesh-eating disease! WTF?! How could this all have happened just from his knee surgery?!

This has just been the year of death for me. I know my grandpa probably won't live much longer. I'm just having a horrible week!

I got off the train this evening, and got in the car and the first thing my dad tells me is that my grandma and great grandma were in a car accident down in Missouri where they live.

My grandma was driving my great grandma home from the hair salon, when some lady who had no idea what she was doing ran a red light and smashed into the front of my grandma's car, completely taking it off! THANKFULLY, niether my grandma or great grandma were harmed! Both had to go to the hospital to check for any internal damage, but both are completely fine.

This could have been a lot worse, so I'm SO thankful they are ok. The car, is totaled, though.

And yet another reason why I'm afraid to drive. There are plenty of idiots on the road.

I always go back and forth about what I would like to do with my life. When I first started to become interested in art, it was a cartoonist. When I was five, I thought it would be the most amazing job ever to work for Disney and draw The Little Mermaid all day. A few years later, when my drawing skills developed, and I started becoming interested in people wearing different outfits, my grandma suggested I consider fashion design. That dream really took off and was with me for quite some time until I realized that I HATED sewing, and I know once you become a big time fashion designer, you have other people do the sewing for you, but I knew that I'd have to sew at some point. Then late in high school, I dabbled in creative writing a little and writing for my school's newspaper, hoping to someday be a journalist or writer. After high school, I was jet-set on being a graphic designer (like my dad)...and now I'm on my path for the rest of my life. I'm majoring in Illustration, so my job will be somewhere in there. Whether or not it's my dream job is still kind of iffy. I love to photograph nature and I often picture myself living up in the mountains or somewhere with a gorgeous landscape taking photos of nature. If I could just surround myself with beauty, that'd be great. But in a way, that's what I already do. I'm an artist, I draw what I see as beautiful, sometimes what I see as not beautiful. In a way, I'm already living my dream of just getting to go out and take pictures of whatever whenever. Getting to draw whatever pops into my mind. I may not be getting paid for it, but a dream job is something you should do for free anyway.

It just kind of occured to me that I haven't really mentioned school or anything on here since I went back at the beginning of this month.

This year, I think I'm starting to break out of my shell a little bit more, probably because I'm more comfortable in the environment because it's my second year there.

I like all of my instructors. Of course, they haven't had many chances to upset me or make me not like them yet...The semester is young. My classes are going well too. Life Drawing for Illustrators is a lot more fun than just normal life drawing because we do these things called dictates where the instructor will tell us to draw a person doing something and we just draw it, without looking at photo references or anything, and we only have 15 minutes. Mine are definitely getting better. On Thursdays, we draw while looking at a model, though which is not as fun. I actually didn't want to take another life drawing class because I get so bored just sitting there on those awful bench thingies drawing, staring at the model. In this class, I mostly get to sit in a chair and draw at a desk.

Quantitative Literacy (aka Math) is an ok class. And yes, that is probably the only time you'll ever see or hear "math" and "ok class" coming from me. The teacher is very easy going. I wouldn't go so far as to call this a blow-off class. But, we have 10 homework assignments the entire semester, we usually get out early, and we can use a calculator to do everything. Wednesday, which was our first lecture day, we learned about the order of operations. YES, I REMEMBER HOW TO DO IT!

Watercolor is fun, but also challenging. Leave it to me to find one of the most complicated ways to paint so beautiful that I want to try it. Watercolor is not very forgiving, if you mess up, you have little chance to fix it. But so far, the instructor has been understanding. I heard that he is very tough on people in critiques. He could probably point out the problems in a Monet painting. But I'm experienced with critiques, I try not to let the harsh criticism get to me and try to focus on what I need to take from the critisism. That's how you get better, though experience. Sometimes trial and error. I just finished painting a drape yesterday...it looks ok...if you squint at it.

And yesterday it really started sinking in that I miss a lot of my friends. I just miss seeing them and talking to them. I have a few friends at school, but all of them are strange in some way...like they all go out and drink, or they smoke pot in a alley around the corner. I miss the Summer. I wish it would come back!
 

I'd probably prefer to stay home, and that is what I did this labor day weekend.

But if I were going somewhere not too far away, like somewhere in Wisconsin, or to Woodfield to go shopping, then I wouldn't mind a roadtrip. Long roadtrips where I would get back like really close to the time I have to go back to school/work are not really my thing. I like to have time to adjust back into my school/work state of mind and I like having plenty of time to unpack. It seems too rushed otherwise.

But I definitely do enjoy just chilling at home, watching some tv, checking my facebook, drawing. I'm a real homebody at heart.

not extremely proud of it but...

Hot N' Cold  by Katy Perry.

I can't help it! That song is just too damn catchy!


^that's the offical list like anyone cares.

(this is NOT a manip!)

I was at Borders today...and despite my relative nonchalance about current Twilight/"Robsten" news, this cover just kind of jumped out at me and whacked me in the face.

It says "on set", so they could be talking about how Edward proposes to Bella in Eclipse. But seriously, I refuse to believe that they're actually engaged. This whole Rob & Kristen thing seems like a total joke. I mean, if they really are engaged, good for them...they're moving WAAAY too fast, but...I don't even know anymore.

Next it'll be "Kristen Stewart, PREGNANT with Rob's Child! The shocking details of their affair behind closed doors!"

Headphones because I like to listen to my music semi-loud and no one else likes to hear it.

External hard drive because I take A LOT of pictures and even our 500 GB computer won't be able to hold all of it one day on it's own.

Webcam so I can talk to my sis at college

Flash drive for school purposes.

As I may have told you, today was my last day of work at the bookstore. I start school again on Wednesday...summer is pretty much over. But in honor of summer and all it's greatness, I decided to relive my favorite memories here on LJ, for all to see. I thought I'd post some pictures as well since I took so many pictures.

Anyway, here are my favorite memories (in no particular order) from Summer 2009.



4th of July on Wonder Lake and the 4th of July Weekend
I thought that this was going to actually turn out horrible. Right before the 4th of July, my mom got bit by my grandparents dog in the hand and she threatened to not let us attend my Aunt's 4th of July party which was being held at her house where my grandparents were staying with their dog for their visit. But it turned out amazing. The best part of the entire thing was just getting to sit out on the pier in my Aunt's backyard and look out onto the lake. I sat there for over an hour and just watched the sun set (which is the picture at the beginning in the banner) and waited for the fireworks to begin. The fireworks were fantastic. My sister and I ate s'mores and tested out my new camera. It was so much fun I just remember this immensely happy feeling that I got from being surrounded by nature and just getting to relax with family. It was such a different feeling than I felt all throughout the school year. There was no place else I'd rather be than there at that moment in time. The day after the 4th, I went and watched my town's fireworks, which were equally spectacular, with my friends. We went and ate funnel cake at the Taste of Crystal Lake and just hung out. There were billions of mosquitos, but it was still a lot of fun. I'll never forget the 4th of July 2009.


Bristol Renaissance Faire Opening Weekend July 12th
The Faire is always loads of fun, so it's no suprise that it was fun this year. This was my second year in a row going and I certainly hope it won't be my last. And of course it's always fun to hang with friends. The Renaissance Faire literally takes you to another world. It's like going into a time machine and coming out to a place where chivalry isn't dead and dirty jokes are about ten times dirtier. lol I will never forget the whole "fondling the hard wood" incident, which ranks high in some of the most embarrasing (but funny) moments of my life. The food at the faire is always great too. What's a summer event without great food. I always get the tempura veggies, but I'm thinking next year (if I get to go), I might try something else. Would have loved to have tried a chocolate dipped cheesecake on a stick, but the cheesecake seller said something rather dirty to me (I was holding a Mike's Hard Lemonade at the time, so he assumed I was of dirty joke telling age) and I was a little nervous to go up and buy from him. But the day was great. Plus after the faire I found that I really sucked at croquet when playing with my friend Eric's sister and her friends and also at Halo when Eric and his cousin killed me multiple times (as well as me falling off the edge and killing myself a few of those times). It was all in good fun, though. That day was a blast!


Lollapalooza 2009 aka KAISER CHIEFS EXTRAVAGANZA!
I have to admit, I was not too jazzed about Lolla this year. It was both mine and my sister's first time going. My sister knew that it would basically be the best day of her life thus far, and it didn't disappoint...well, maybe only slightly. Chicago was expecting record highs in the mid 90s that day, and with the humidity, it was almost 100 degrees. Hot, sunny and humid are a lethal combination for me, as all of you are aware that heat is the bane of my existence. And I did end up with a horrible sunburn on the back of my neck that is still visible. The heat was bad, so bad that my sister nearly passed out and had to be taken out of the crowd right in the middle of the Kaiser Chief's set...and we HAD water. But sun-warmed bottles of Smart water and lack of food do not a healthy concert-goer make. In the end it all turned out peachy. My sister was taken backstage after being pulled from the crowd. They gave her water and all 5 members of the Kaiser Chiefs (which, did I mention was her favorite band EVER!) waved at her. Then she also got to meet them at the meet and greet. We didn't stay for the Killers, which was a bummer, but I was dying and there was no way I could have stayed. This day deserves it's spot here on my list simply because I got to spend time with my sister, who is now away at college. I miss hanging out with her, as annoying as she can be sometimes. Now I know what it's like being an only child again. lol horrible. But yeah, I'll never forget how happy that day was for her and for that it was great!


Working at the Bookstore
I know what you're thinking..."WTF?!" I know. I complained about work here on LJ all summer like it was going out of style. I am practically the queen of the work-related rant post. But in all honesty, I was more happy to be there than anything. In this economy, it's tough finding a job. If I couldn't have found a job this summer, I don't know what I would have done. But the MCC Bookstore saved the day again. Zach and Chloe who were two of the student workers that replaced the "fab three" (me, Eric, and Breanna) last school year did other things during the summer so Eric and I were given back our "student worker" status for a few months--well with the added bonusof $11.50 an hour that comes with the whole temp package. People asked me why the hell I went back there and all I had to do was tell them $11.50 an hour, and they ate their words. Work was a lot more enjoyable now that I didn't have to worry about school on top of it all. And I noticed that I recieved a bit more respect from some of the ladies in the office, Kathy B in particular who became fast friends with me after we talked about the Nintendo DS. When I think about all the good times I had at work this summer, I'd have to say that they definitely outweigh all the stupid customers, technical difficulties, complicated questions, stressful buybacks, and sweaty box-opening projects. I always miss that place when I leave. I'm actually hoping that I'll get to work there again. Oh, and we can't forget the octopus I did for behind the counter. I was very sad to take it down at the beginning of the month.


My Sister's High School Graduation
My sister is 3 and a half years younger than me and it'll always be weird thinking , wow my little sis is in college! I must be really old. But it was great seeing her recieve her diploma and tossing her cap up at the end of the ceremony. It was also great getting to visit my old high school again. It had been a while, and I even got to see some of my old teachers and tell them how I was doing. I was so proud of my sister that day, especially since she didn't really want to walk at graduation, but she did it and got it over with. We had a fun party for her afterwards as well.


Taking pictures and just soaking in all the summer I could
I bought myself a new digital camera in June and it took some really awesome pictures this summer. If any of you have ever checked out my facebook or my deviantART, you'd know that I love taking pictures of flowers. My mom is a green thumb and has tons of flowers growing in her various gardens in our front and back yards, so I often take pictures of them just for fun. These pictures for me really tell the story of summer and how it changes with the passing months. Some flowers bloom in June or July and wither away in August, while some will stay the entire season. Some are only there for a day or two before shrivling away again to return next year. Photography has been a longtime passion of mine and I hope to keep taking pictures wherever life takes me.

Anyway, so long summer. You will be greatly missed <3

That is what I lovingly refer to the customers I had last night at work. I would see the end of the line clearly, then just when I thought I had rung up the last person, more were standing there waiting. It was like there was some sort of machine in front of the door to the bookstore popping them out like in a factory. I basically wanted to take an axe and just hack at the machine until it would work no more.

In other words, work was an absolute nightmare. I really only worked for 4 and a half hours too. The first problem I encountered, aside from the extreme overload of customers was the extreme lack of change in my register drawer. I still had maybe an hour and a half left to go when I ran out of Quarters. Not too bad. You can always use nickels and dimes for that. Then the dimes were gone. Worse, but not a crisis--though we were low on nickels and pennies. Then the pennies were gone. You NEED pennies! They are the smallest monetary unit. When someone buys something that is $6.07 and gives you a $20 bill (despite you requesting as close to exact change as possible) and you have NO pennies in the drawer and there are no pennies to be found...what do you do?! Not to mention having to pay the rest of the change in nickels which is a pain in the ass! Luckily, a nice girl came up and paid exact change with quarters and dimes. Oh, I was so happy I could have hugged her. 

But then it happened again. We ran out of everything until all we had were pennies. I was thisclose to telling everyone that they could only pay cash if they had exact change. It got to the point where people were just like, "don't worry about the change". I was grateful.

Oh, and I should also mention the second problem that was consistent the entire evening was the fact that pretty much all of the books that we sell are out. There has been such a high demand for books this year because of the Promise Program (every kid in the county who graduated in 2009 can go to MCC for free). So I have to keep telling people "No, I'm sorry. We don't have that one in, but it is on order". Then they ask me when it'll be in and I have no answer for them. I don't order the books...I just ring them up. I have no idea how long it takes. STOP ASKING ME!!!

I was tired. I was ready to go home. After a brief break from the customers around 7:20 or so (10 minutes before close) --the eye of the storm, one might say. All hell broke loose again and like 20 people came in from a class to buy their lab manual. I just about cracked. We had shut down the other register, so mine was the only one open. My boss came out and we were taking practically 2 customers at once on the one register. I have no idea how it worked, but we got it done. 

I took a long sigh of relief around this time...then the phone rang. Should I pick it up? Oh what the heck...

it's some guy who called in for the specific reason to complain about the price of the Elementary & Intermediate Algebra book that we sell there. It runs $120 Used and $160 new. I'll agree, it is a ridiculous price, but it's not like it's my fault. I don't make up these prices! It makes me so angry when people think I make up these prices just because I work there. A lot of hard work goes into the making of a text book and the price is reflected in that. It doesn't mean we hate you when we charge over a hundred for a book.

I hate to say it, but I'm actually almost excited to leave the bookstore. Monday is my last day. But I still have to get through today, tomorrow, and Saturday before I get to that point. Yeah, I agreed to work Saturday too. Ugh.

I would have to say that innovations in communication have greatly changed the world in the past five years. Like now with Facebook, you can easily keep in touch with friends who live across the country or just down the street with just a few clicks of the mouse. And this whole Skype thing just blows my mind. lol I know the idea isn't really new. But we just got it and it's great that I can talk to my sister 100 miles away at U of I. It's almost like she never left because I can see her and talk to her at the same time.

Also, I don't really know how long these things have been around, but USB drives and external hard drives are amazing and totally beat the compact disc any day of the week. It's like having a mini computer on a keychain around your neck anywhere you go. For school, we used to have to make big posters for speeches and presentations and lug them around while they got all wrinkled and the pictures started falling off of them. Now, we make a powerpoint presentation at home, save it to the flash drive and plug it in at school. It's that simple.

Music has also benefited in the same way. No need to carry around my entire collection of cds when I'm at school or on the go now. I just have my iPod and I'm good.

Technology is great, eventhough it still causes me a lot of problems, but I love it regardless.

So my sister already hates her roomate at college with a passion. I've probably mentioned this before, but her roomate is a friend from High School. Apparently, she has been friends with this girl since Sophomore or Junior year of High School. They've always been good friends. Not best friends, but good friends. My sister helps her with her homework and when the time came to go visit U of I, she brought her friend along with to see the school and to register.

But my sister and her are two completely different people. Her friend/roomate was born in China, but has lived most of her life in the US. She speaks in both English and Chinese and isn't hard to understand, but she does have a lot of unusual Chinese mannerisms that we don't usually see here in America. Her parents run a Chinese restaurant and are not home often for her and her 3 siblings. But she, being the oldest, is forced to take care of them a lot when her grandparents (who also live with the family) can't. It's a stressful life. She usually stays up late into the wee hours of the morning be it a school night or not.

My sister lives in a home where someone is pretty much always home with her. My dad is retired so he's always there for fatherly support and advice. Yet still, she has a short temper but most of the time knows her place when an argument occurs. But she holds grudges and she holds them for a long time. She always goes to bed (not necessarily to sleep) at 9 PM, on the dot. She gets good grades and does her homework, in fact she enjoys it. She loves school and she loves doing things. If she is bored, she is unhappy. She doesn't relax unless she's sleeping. She is contsantly on the go, but she likes it that way.

Here's the problem. My sister's roomate/now former friend is keeping her up late at night with her phone calls and her having all the lights on and her Chinese soap operas (yes, I didn't know they existed until now either). My sister is lying in bed trying to sleep and this girl is on the other side of the room watching soap operas (without headphones) on her computer with the lights on. Then her phone rings and has really loud conversations with whoever is on the other end. She doesn't even think about my sister who is wide awake and cannot get any sleep. She is being completely inconsiderate and rude.

Today, we all got on skype to talk with her (while her roomate was out) about how they need to come to a compromise. That is the only thing. I mean, her roomate obviously knows that she's keeping my sister awake. She needs to leave, go to the commons area and watch her shows and talk on the phone then. Tomorrow is the first day of school and my sister is constantly exhausted. She's had to live with this for 5 days now and she has had enough. I don't really blame her for being mad, but I'd want her to be an adult (I mean, she's 18 now) and talk things over in a civil manner with her roomate. They don't have to be friends anymore, but they have to abide by eachothers rules when they are living together. This girl needs to realize that she is being completely inconsiderate of my sister's feelings and grow up also. I'm sick of hearing my sister mention stabbing her.

"You should come smoke with us Emily. That's how you make friends."

said by a girl in my Illustration class at school. Do I know how to pick 'em or what? Schools...that is.